“How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.” DOROTHY SAYERS

First time going to a planet fitness and they don’t even have barbells 🥴

Home to see family and I’m given a chore list… WACK

Disney reviews from people walking by me…: omg this is awesome here I love it. Another person:I have to shit and can’t find a bathroom

I now understand the hype with Nashville

Y’all ever been staying at a hotel and they announce get to the stair well or lay in the bathtub cause a tornado is about to hit

I’ve bought 3 things of chapstick in the past 3 days and lost every single fucking one

Not how we should be going into the new year RIP Betty white

Doctor just said “since you’re not young anymore” like bruh why you gotta say that

I’m gonna start referring to Tom Brady by his real name cause Thomas isn’t elite

Learning to cut my hair has been an experience like am I gonna be bald after today or not 🤷‍♂️

Gah damn corso getting old

Nothing like RG3 talking about orgys on a Saturday afternoon

I had Queen dying + Cooper Kupp anytime TD parlay

Can we stop dropping passes like wtf

Love how they could’ve just ruled Zach erts out today instead they just arnt playing him

This ESPNU coverage is trash

As an air traffic controller watching a C-5 with a takeoff weight of 500k I firmly believe planes shouldn’t be able to fly. Shits bonkers.

Sometimes I think about jj ice fish and I wish I didn’t

Remember not to drunk drive on thanksgiving unless you have somewhere you need to go or if you just want to