Hugh Grant’s delivery of the line ‘wanking into a hanky’ in The Gentlemen is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Rest of the film’s pretty good, too.

Am I right in thinking that by the logic of the Govt today, I can follow my “instinct” & set up a big rig in a field, invite a load of people & we all get off our knackers?

soup was invented in 1927 by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken

This guy’s incredible. It’s Shakespearean.

I love my country as much as anyone, but doesn’t having a prime minister’s aeroplane painted like a Union Jack make us look just a tiny bit shit?

Oh Maceo’s you’ve done me some damage over the years

the room next door - Priti Patel and Yvette Cooper

This guy gets it:

And that she working on a memoir of her 1st Lady experiences called Mein Trumpf.

It's clear from the data coming in, that the United Kingdom is now facing a very serious, and potentially overwhelming, second wave of banana bread.

Bloke I went to school with, on Facebook, is saying he’ll never take a vaccine because he “doesn’t know what’s in it”, which is a bit weird because I distinctly remember him putting a tab of LSD under his eyelid in R.E. once.

That Colston statue going in the drink, Trump losing and Nigella’s pronunciation of microwave are the only good things that happened this year.

Word of the day is 'uhtceare' [uht-kay-ara, the 'h' as in the German 'ach']: Old English for 'sorrow before dawn', when you lie awake in the darkness and worry.

one time I was in a zoom meeting and I muted myself because I had to fart. and then realized with horror that I had actually been muted the whole time up until that moment, so what I ACTUALLY did was UNMUTE myself and fart SUPER LOUDLY in the middle of this meeting

For no particular reason I’ve been googling GB News and it turns out they are owned by a company called All Perspectives. It’s a limited company so its full name is All Perspectives Limited. Anyway, I’ve laughed so much I’ve given myself a headache.

Very important news

Kate Winslet says she laughed when she spotted a tax disc on a car windscreen the other day. “There’s been no legal obligation to display them since October 2014!” she chuckled

Today Keir Starmer has, quietly yet in full view of the media, put together a right little session

The sun came out for 7 minutes. People stood in the street, staring at it like it was Halley’s comet. Dogs howled, children wept.