“I am easily duped by photo ops”

selecting “ze/zir” as my grandma’s pronouns on the form at her doctor’s appointment so hard that i shatter the tablet into a thousand pieces

I’m such a bad stalker man. Like where are you

Dariush has been 36 years old for the last 10 years

Full-contact ratsketball is my new favorite sport

Daniel Cormier saved Jon Jones from getting slammed but regretted it after 😭 “I saved your life. He got your ass. I should’ve let you bust your head on the ground.”

being elite at what you do but still a degen is rare now a days. cut from a diff cloth, dont make em like this anymore

that kid gonna help him win a playoff series in 15 years

a duo i made up

to the girl reading this: this is NOT you. you smell like cigarettes and have a bunch of stupid tattoos

How the waitress looks at you when your bitch wife takes your son to the restroom

tom cruise kills oprah with his lightning powers

your honor you know how a white boy get on twisted tea