281 330 8 0 0 4 #iykyk

Genius

You know you're slammed at work when its quarter past 5 and you still have a half full coffee

“Once you carry your own water, you’ll learn to respect every drop.”

cops when they turn off the tv & the screen is black

Sent $90,000 through the door by lunch, happy friday mofos 🤑

I have the best girlfriend!

Had to steal an aleve from my boss because I played basketball yesterday and I'm sore #gettingold

Nothing says vacation like breakfast cannolis with razzle dazzle

Sharks don’t want to eat this stinky butt

Found out the hard way the Mercedes gives you complimentary gloves to change your spare tire in the tool kit.. so nice of them

Been slingin product this week like I'm Hov in the early 90's, except its tractors not crack

When you cut down a tree in Italy

Just sayin'.....

I love how fist bumps are the new handshake, so player, thank you #coronavirus

Stop expecting honesty from people who lie to themselves.

Boss is making us work a half day on Christmas eve.. guys a real sleigh driver.. 🎄

Some of y’all’s parents quit raisin you too early