Why are they never doing this for dictators or child molesters or serial killers? Why voodoo never use on student loan forgiveness? Always stupid shit like this

“Young athlete facing gambling addiction is seeking help at a facility. This is brought to you by BETMGM, use code “REHAB” for $20 bonus bets”

This is 100% worse than anything Nintendo has ever done btw

What type of parent names their kid Black Chicago student

“CLAUDE I ASKED YOU 3 TIMES AND YOU KEEP GETTING IT WRONG, FIND ME THE NEXT $NVDA AT $11 THINK LIKE NANCY PELOSI AND FIX THIS NO MISTAKES”

POV you’re a junior banker at JP Morgan and your MD wants to have a performance chat

Five-time NBA All-Star John Wall has become the president of basketball operations at Howard University, returning to Washington, D.C. to partner with the top-ranked HBCU in the country, school officials tell ESPN.

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” “Your dad was a sex slave for J.P. Morgan”

“CLAUDE LAND ME A JOB AT JP MORGAN AS A JUNIOR ANALYST ON THE LEVERAGED FINANCE TEAM THIS SUMMER MAKE NO MISTAKES, YOU HEAR ME I SAID MAKE NO MISTAKES!”

BREAKING: Mike Vrabel has informed the Patriots he plans to retire as head coach and join JP Morgan’s leveraged finance team.

Who did this?

Hear me out: this has all been a psy op orchestrated by Jamie Dimon to get all the horny finance bros excited to get back into the office 7 days a week

Me reading that the JPMorgan story was fake after I already agreed to a 50% pay cut for the role

This story simply will not go away

.Los Angeles Chargers

I’m getting old, man.

First off how can GameStop broke ah afford this?! Second … Ebay lowkey a great site for getting good deals on stuff. Gamestop about to ruin it if this deal go through 😭

Wait, I thought he couldn’t do any public events if they weren’t in… THE BALLROOM???

Absolutely unhinged tweet from admin, I love it

This is a real tweet from a real account about a real man who leads a real country. It's just so hard to believe any of it.