BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL REPORTER “JIM” HAS NOT BEEN SEEN IN PROBABLY AROUND 48 HOURS. UPON QUESTIONING, JIM STATED, “IM KINDA DOING MY OWN THING RN”, IN THE DMS OF TWITTER. …NOW, THE WEATHER. JIM?

I AM AFRAID.

gulp.

I STILL HEAR YOU, BROTHER.

:(

I miss JIM.

NO… ER… APPARENTLY F- BREAKING NEWS: FAMOUS ACTOR MARK I PLIER ALLEGEDLY STOLE THE BODY OF JIM, A BELOVED REPORTER OF JIM NEWS INCORPORATED.

I DON’T KNOW!! I HAVEN’T SEEM JIM SINCE HE WENT TO MARK I PLIER’S MANOR… WILFORD (you know, the murdery one) TOLD ME SO.

HE ASKED ME TO WATCH LITTLE JIM! AND I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!

I didn’t KNOW THAT?!!!!???!?!?

THIS JUST IN: LOCAL IMPRISONED CONVICT PRISONER CRIMINAL DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO JIM NEWS, THE BEST PLACE TO GET YOUR DAILY, MULTI-DIMENSIONAL NEWS AND RELATED WEATHER REPORTS.

nodding AGGRESSIVELY in agreement. “But hOW?”

“But I- I can’t leave Little Jim. He’s already so worried about his dad…” :(

WHAT? WHAT DID I SAY?

Jim was in the middle of cooking dinner just one room over, apron and all - when he sensed a Ghostly Presence in the living room. Gulp. peeking into the living room, spatula still in hand, and— “GASSSP!” he said, aloud, eyes shooting open. MARK !

OOOH I UNDERSTAND, HOLD ON. THIS JUST IN: NOT-LOCAL IMPRISONED CONVICT PRISONER CRIMINAL DELINQUENT DOES NOT TUNE INTO JIM NEWS FROM HIS JAIL CELL FOR UNKNOWN REASONS.

I PANICKED.

I DONT KNOW