⠀⠀⠀⠀❛ | 𝒜𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚂𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚣𝚖𝚊𝚗 | ❜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀Friendly neighbourhood ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Van Helsing ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀— • — ⠀ selective ; au ; penned by themis

"If you're here about extra credit, I have some news for you. . . . Drink the rubber band coffee, and everyone gets an A." |[ Alaric slid the tainted beverage towards the male, his disposition entirely too smug. ]| x.com/MusculusCaput/…

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⊰• 𝓝𝚘𝚙𝚎, 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 •⊱

" | Vervain | ?! Now, why would /I/, a human being in the great town of Mystic Falls, ever consider slipping vervain into my drink . . . ? See, now that's just crazy talk, Tyler." x.com/MusculusCaput/…

|[ Annoyance tainted the teacher's expression with a furrowed brow and a sigh of exasperation. He flicked the boy's forehead, before snatching his coffee back. ]| "Seriously? The fate of this town once rested on | you | ? Of course it's spiked. If not, I'd be Damon's bitch." x.com/MusculusCaput/…

|[ / Ric /. He had been planning for a while to dramatically reveal that he was in fact not Alaric Saltzman, but Klaus had not had this much in centuries. Having spent the week playing cat and mouse, he had his taste for murder. ]| "Maybe you were..." x.com/ElenaGilbert70…

"You sound like you speak from experience, a former bitch, if you will. Klaus really did a number on you, I hear." |[ Ric would know. He thought about telling the Lockwood boy right now that his History teacher had been a puppet for his Sire for a good month now. ]| x.com/MusculusCaput/…

"Oh, I don't know, Elena. I'd have thought that by now, you'd be a littler wearier about who you let into your life, since half the population of this town are reformed serial killers." |[ He shrugged lightly, waving the matter away as if it were utterly trivial. ]| x.com/ElenaGilbert70…

"You sure did." |[ Putting a band aid on a gaping abyss of 'I Screwed Up' was not fixing it. Gallivanting in the Appalachian mountains with other wolfish riff raff was not fixing it. Befriending Hayley Marshall was not fixing it. ]| "He won't be a problem now." x.com/MusculusCaput/…

"You dated a reformed alcoholic psychopath, but not before dating his serial killer of a brother who wiped out an entire village in the span of three hours. But who's keeping count?" x.com/ElenaGilbert70…

"Well. I think he's a little more than that, wouldn't you say, Tyler? I mean, he surely left his mark on this town, and we all had to put in every ounce of effort to chase away [ one ] big bad wolf . . . " |[ Ric swirled his drink around, staring into the depths of the cup. ]| x.com/MusculusCaput/…

“Rise and shiiiiine, reprobates.”

. . .

|[ Klaus all but swaggers down the hallway, arrogance dripping from his every movement. Somehow he had managed to twist Ric’s kind face into something demonic. ]| “Ta-daaaaa!” x.com/musculuscaput/…

|| The smell of fear quickly saturated the air. Klaus struggled to keep his trademark derisive smirk off his face, but he failed. || “ / S u r p r i s e /. . . . I’m disappointed, Tyler. Where is my welcoming parade?” x.com/musculuscaput/…

“You’ll have to excuse me. I caused quite a large sum of human collateral damage during my last fit of rage.” || He proudly brandishes a bloody crossbow before setting it aside with a careless shrug. || x.com/awiltedfloret/…

|| Having spent the past hour rifling through Alaric Saltzman’s closet, Klaus was on the very brink of a breakdown of a gigantic magnitude. || “Does this insufferable man not own anything that’s not /plaid/?”

𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 ⠀⠀⠀𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 ⠀⠀ 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 ⠀⠀⠀𝚕𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀•▽•

|| His eyes scan the mountain of papers that he’s supposed to grade to maintain the charade of the high school teacher. || “Well . . . . . . According to this gentleman, World War Two concluded in 1984.”