I did my bit with this! 1500, 1501, 1502, 1504, 1505, 1507, 1512. Enjoy the roulette!

it’s always “why haven’t you found a job yet?” and never “write me some poems and I will be your esteemed patroness”

Cardinal Campeggio arriving at Blackfriars, pretending he has a sincere intention of actually reaching a decision.

Text from Thomas Cromwell: "Your Majesty, let's bury the hatchet." ... Ehm.

Anne Boleyn Poor Giggy (and Purkoy). I feel like this could be the Dudley family motto (Although am willing to change my mind after I've finished Joanne Paul's book)

Outstanding. Can't even begin to describe to you how awkward it was when Hazza and Thomas Crum-Crum tried to justify their Dissolution of the Monasteries policy by performing a duet of Erika Jayne's XXPen$ive (To Me). Mortifying.

I thought the same with Avril Lavigne's Yesterday and you, honey. Looking forward to her next tribute to you "Brother in Law" (whether it's about the one you married or the one whose corpse you wanted to use as a trophy, TBD.)

My husband finds the title "Spare" to be a taunting boast from the Windsors to the Tudors.

Can confirm that Mary T will be releasing her memoir "Heir by Right, Spare by Slight". Better than her original title, "(Step)Mommie Dearest."

Send help to Whitehall. Honor Lisle gifted me a monkey. It's angry. It climbs. Currently it's throwing faeces at Jane S from atop my canopy of state. We tried to calm it with a couple of Mary's sleeping pills wrapped in sweetmeats but the parrot got those. Also, send a new parrot

Update on the monkey: it's running riot around the Watching Chamber. Jane S, Jane R, Jane D, and 3 of the 4 Margerys and I managed to make it inside the closet and barricade ourselves in. (No jokes about Thomas Tallis also being in a closet, that's mean.)

Further update on the monkey: we can hear the screams of the 5 maids and 4 ushers we left inside with it (wasn't room for everyone; Jane R is claustrophobic and I needed to save my clavichord.) Anyway, it's bitten two of the ushers and the parrot is by now almost certainly dead.

Can monkeys swim?

Final update on the monkey: tragic boating accident. Please send soapy water for a couple of scratch marks on Jane D's face and nobody dredge the palace lake for the next 3-5 weeks.

Please do. Just make sure she doesn't let any of the Protestant servants get too close to the candles.

Me, praying for the will not to eye-roll so hard I faint when Henry starts one of his "I totally COULD conquer all of France, if I actually *wanted* to" rants. No. You 'conquered' three towns and a few herds of unattended sheep last time.

LOVE the idea of building this as a little retreat over the Hever Lake. Tasteful, elegant, modern and, given the dissolution of the monasteries, not the biggest thing Henry and I have pinched from an Italian mega-corporation with French backing.