(minis after an altercation) Mini: “it was mr. construed” “You mean misconstrued” Mini: “no mr. construed… it was harry”

Some dog bit our dog at the park and the owner walked up to HER dog and asked it if it was okay… and then i’m like, you’re not just a dog parent, you’re a real parent. and then i’m like mmm that’s why walking into a room of 2nd graders feels like walking into the trenches.

what drunk fuck designed every road in new jersey.

I don’t think we’re nearly angry enough about rich people burning down our planet irreversibly so they can get a little richer

Scrolling through facebook birthdays be like… old professor old professor best friends grandma old professor 25 people I don’t know mayor of my home town someone’s grandma wishing them a happy birthday on my fb because they’re confused

I know it’s not true but I still am 99% sure I saw Kamala Harris on a citi bike today. Not to brag… but I 99% certainly did.

finish the poem

sam assemany Eimile Lauren Davis us before work wknds

today, tomorrow, the next day, the day after that, next tuesday… just all days

Steve Kerr on today's tragic shooting in Uvalde, Texas.

adventures with minis part 28754: What’s your favorite kind of music? “Hip-Hop” Oh wow! Who’s your favorite hip-hop artist? “Jojo Siwa”

at this point I basically volunteer at my job so can I plz be forgiven

on the same day the story on the left broke, *this* is the florida news libsoftiktok is reporting on. protecting the children

Because nothing says “innocent” like threatening a judge’s family

I’m sorry but where is Congress’ HR?

92,003 in attendance. Nebraska Volleyball breaks the world record for the largest crowd ever at a women’s sporting event 👏 espnW | #ThatsaW

Victory in Portland. 🖤