i’m so down bad for mae martin it’s actually sickening

very disappointed to report that regularly exercising has vastly improved my mood

if mae martin and parvati shallow are ever looking for a third… i would like them to know that i am available

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

said “i support women’s rights and wrongs” in front of my chronically offline friends and they were like “omg that’s so funny you should make that joke on stage” like baby… i did not make that up

i have some questions about my targeted ads

you can’t call taylor swift the new shakespeare until she adds dick jokes to all her songs

something so insane about sending a custom ceramic piece to an influencer (in exchange for them posting about it) and then the influencer ghosts you after they receive the piece you spent several weeks making 🥲

fighting the urge to tell everyone that i saw chappell roan last year at a really small venue… some of us have been here a while…

happy 420 to those who celebrate and specifically also ozzy from survivor

i love getting excited about 4/20 like omg i’m gonna get so high as if i don’t do that almost every day