I made my boyfriend dinner last night and he asked what I put in it that made it so spicy… you guys, it was nutmeg.

It is my first year ever handing out candy and I fully intend on being THAT house 💅

Not that diapers should be gendered but I’m genuinely curious why the “girls” (princess) pull ups are more expensive than the “boys” (Spider-Man) ones Costco Canada 🕵️‍♀️

This is Halloween

We had like 4 trick-or-treaters I’m not ok

I’m never putting my jade roller in the freezer again. My face smells like leftover spaghetti sauce

My 3 year-old calls Mariah Carey “mommy Christmas” and I’m wondering why none of us are doing the same

Christmas parade hauls hit so much harder than when I was a kid 😩 👏

The front of the Christmas tree vs the back

Tell that to Daddy’s Home 2

Someone was talking to me this morning but I didn’t realize that they were talking to me until after I left and all I need is for someone to tell me that this happens sometimes and my life is not over

The clatter that arose was me tripping and falling down the stairs while holding a whole ass bike for my son.

Yes I’m 29 and still spend Christmas afternoon watching Christmas Haul videos on Youtube

😭

This is not the news story I wanted to see on the eve of my 30th birthday but ok

My dumbass almost missed the Eclipse because I couldn’t find the sun

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Me trying to use my Duolingo skills at the Mexican restaurant on Cinco de Mayo:

Every year during BBQ season I’m reminded of the time Matt Rutherford asked me what BBQ stands for

I learned this one the hard way 😅