Love you Instagram

What should you do if you're not feeling it? Communicate. Don't Ghost. Jake Berg is here to tell you how to thoughtfully and respectfully let someone go👏

All my homies have anxiety 😎

I just need one egg why don’t they sell single eggs

If we had green skin would green screens be flesh colored

Can I Ctrl Z my existence

Every day is another day of coming to terms with the fact that I will never have perfect pitch

Two surgeons having a meet cute after one drops a scalpel inside the patient

Rainbow connection is literally the only song I can name about rainbows

Ur in her DMs I’m at home smoking weed, don’t even know who were talking about

I hate when I ask someone the date and they only tell me the day as if I know what month it is

Wow tweeting is crazy as a form of content creation a video will take me 4 hours and I only wrote this in 7 minutes

They just don't make websites to download mp3s of youtube videos like they used to

I know everyone’s hyped on standing desks but where can I get a laying down desk

Does this count as a strike?

Thank god Facebook recommends me posts I wrote in 2013 so I can delete them as fast as possible

Can we go back to a time when dancing was just miming activities it seems a lot easier

Tryna be ride or die but in reality I’m hide and cry

Realizing you had cash in your venmo is the new finding money in a pocket

It’s 2022 and we haven’t figured out how to make spray on sunscreen not freezing