Why do Blackpool FC exclusively employ people called Steve/Stephen?

My pre-workout is three Werther’s Originals in the car whilst driving to the gym

Me on a flight to Ibiza this morning

I hate IT. Why do I work in IT?

Sometimes 1 week of life happens in 4 days and sometimes 6 weeks of life happens in 1 week. I won’t explain myself but you know what I mean.

Me when France makes a joke

Everyone's Zoom is down but not for my training course 💀

Chatty uber drivers 💀

I’m always convinced that Jay Kay off of out of Jamiroquai is dead then I have to check. It happens more often than you’d think.

Step out of Christmas Step out of Christmas Something something snowfall Forever and ever

When I win the lottery I'm going to buy linkedin and then turn it off

Hyrox is a plague

LinkedIn is a plague.

David Attenborough is so old man. Personally I couldn’t think of anything worse than being almost 100 years old but each to their own isn’t it.

Me: I’m really going to sort out my sleep schedule in 2026 Local owl: like fuck you are

This is a public service announcement: STOP FUCKING SAYING CHAT G ‘B’ T ITS CHAT FUCKING GPT.

This fire house sure sounds hard but I know for sure I could batter it

These winny lympies are going on a bit aren’t they

The quadrennial obsession with curling is a mad thing

Me in the group chat this weekend because all my boy mates are going on one of their stags and I can’t go because of my vagina