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Some Americans are shocked that French children took part in a drag performance at the Olympics. All French are shocked that American children take part in active shooter drills at their schools.

If it is rainy/foggy, your place of business is legally obligated to send you home to enjoy a book, tea and a cozy blanket while having a delicious soup bubbling on the stove.

Been back on twitter for five minutes and I already have haters. 🥹🙈

A hawk was on the fence outside and the 2 yr old wanted to see it up close. As we got closer, you could see her excitement in the beauty and the majestic look of the hawk. When almost close to it, she stopped, and loudly proclaimed in front the whole neighborhood, "Look, a FUCK!"

"childless woman" is such an 19th-century-ass insult. what else you got. do I render inferior tallow? do my cabbages grow pale and blemished? does the quality of my sock-darning bring shame upon my father's name?

TGITFWBBBTIPGT (Thank God it’s Thursday, Friday would be better but Thursday is pretty good too)

jk rowling is one bottle of gin away from saying that only white people can be women

From what I've seen from people who swear they're going to heaven, I'd rather go to the hottest regions of hell to get away from them

Education and occupation don't mean intelligence

I love my cat but sometimes he gives me paws

Standing 10 hrs a day with one 30 minute lunch break while dealing with rude customers should be an Olympic sport

A lot of people would have you believe that seasoning and maintaining a cast iron skillet is difficult. And they’re right. That’s why I throw them out after each use and buy a new one

1999 was also the last time I had the energy to party

I am not just a gamer girl nor just a book girlfriend, I'm both plus a secret third thing

Poltergeists are just people who take their beefs to the afterlife

Sarah J. Maas made me like men again. These men don't exist but still it's a step

Heard you're back together and if that's true you'll just have to tase me when I'm stalking you