Getting a jump on my Christmas decorating.

If all the towels end up looking like this anyway, why do women insist on buying anything but white?

I don’t think I like my cars attitude.

I don’t think he likes his new jacket.

My wife went full New Mexican this Christmas.

Al Michaels just said, “From the backside you don’t see it coming.”

We got a damn #transurrection at the Tennessee Capitol 🤣

Watching postgame and my wife says SVP looks like one of the hotdogs from ‘Sausage Party’.

This is awesome!

Just saw the new Scarlett Johansson commercial. Comforting to know if Christian Slater passes we have a replacement.

Netflix has 'Great Outdoors'. It's the best Father's Day movie. No greater line than, "for prompt service, blow me."

Just a friendly reminder.

It’s a Warren Zevon kind of evening. ‘Merica!

Never ask a man what he is thinking

My wife sent me to the store for fresh chips. Last bag left. Couldn’t do it. This bag looks like it’s seen some shit.

Go Cubs go!