zoom meeting today began with my boss saying, “if you were me, would you fire you?”

regina george and rodrick heffley have my heart

Ah! You see, this miserable little document, this so-called date-me doc, is our era’s most honest pornography. It pretends to be romance, but what is it really? It is no longer the trembling hand on paper, the confession of desire. It is a spreadsheet of desire. “I am ready. I am

Throat everyday? Man lemme get up and clock in.

Rodrick is able to appreciate the arts whereas Greg is a nothing person.

1s2 2s2 2p6 3s2 3p6 4s2

The only relationship dynamic that works

elizabeth holmes daring bryan johnson to castrate himself on the tl

Looking at him like this and knowing that he needs to go.

she let me hit because she has let me hit for generations in an infinite number of past lives in the karmic cycle. sometimes as four horned antelopes, as a speck of pollen on a bluebell flower, or even as algae surrounding hydrothermal vents on the deep sea floor

A movie about a woman fucking an alien fishman won Best Picture and got 13 nominations one year. Wild shit is I didn’t even know the fishman fucker movie (Shape of Water) had 13 noms until I googled bc there was no uproar at all about that. Why is there this battle to defend

You know someone is illiterate asffff when they start bringing up The Alchemist.

Didnt I do it for you

You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

nobody gets lena dunham like me and my closest friends who are all geniuses constantly teetering on the edge of loserdom

The gag is that after all that clowning over half a joke in the Girls pilot, Lena Dunham did basically end up being the voice of her generation

Just told someone i always have a pen in my bag just in case i have a thought