I have a royal dansk biscuit tin full of used cigars to deter my students from taking my actual stash.

Melvin’s been staring at the same thing on his phone for an hour and I’m afraid to even ask about it.

SHUT UUUUUP!!!!!!!

melvin's out cold i can do that thing where i move his hair affectionately away from his closed eyes while he rests but not in a mushy way

Super Fucking Mario

i stay 1000 meters away from koyanskaya at all times bc i think she would suffocate me for sport

You What

One! Normal! Day!!!!!! Just one!!!!!!!

Why can’t I be storepilled in my own house

the year changed?

clock tower is a fucking nightmare

// this app just glitched so bad that it crashed but was still playing mickey on loop I can’t do this

not right now. I’m eating expired yogurt

I might keep most of my students out of harm’s way but that doesn’t mean it extends to my self preservation instinct or paycheck

(he glances into the cup) … off-white?