Just take a moment to observe all the things Roseanne had to do to get canceled: - Call Valerie Jarrett an ape - accuse dems child sex trafficking - tell Hillary Clinton to commit suicide - accuse Chelsea Clinton of being part of a Jewish conspiracy - call George Soros a Nazi

I don't want a degree anymore I want a nap

ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth-- BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! ME: Joe. Happy birthday to Joe Biden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.

I wore 9 outfits in one day. The most changeable person is always also the most evil.

God bless uber drivers that don't talk to you

It’s a bit strange that my parents brought me to the United States so I could have a better life and this morning I am discussing moving out of the US so my daughter can have a better life.

The Nazis also urged women to have more kids. x.com/atrupar/status…

I played Dungeons and Dragons with my daughters. They were supposed to fight the wolves surrounding a town. Instead, they fed the wolves and turned them into their friendly wolf army. Girls, man. They’ll take over the world.

x.com/i/moments/9523…

Rey left to face Kylo. Typical. She found a bad boy and thinks she can change him.

dont key your ex’s car, if you really wit the shits peel the registration sticker off their license plate

I miss you @stormofsunshine x.com/intoactionxx/s…