I’m at least ugly hot

😔 you’re one mean ass kid, dude

Yeah, YyEAH I have the whole bug eye Rami Malek thing

I’m taller too

Some girls like that, they aren’t all 2 feet tall

Tiny

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

He’d draw an anatomically correct zombie ostrich on her ass. He’d autograph it.

get your own jokes or pay me and i can write you some.

no for real i need the money i spent all mine on dumb shit

“Fuck yeah, but I need hourly smoke breaks.”

“But I got a prescription, it helps me with my crohns.” The knowing laugh of someone who bent the truth. Ish.

“Those are scones. Crohns hits after scones.” He spoke fluent Cat. “They got blueberry though?”

i slept for 16 hours of hour birthday. am i high or do i hate myself?!

did i tell you i hate myself?

no ha