Twitter is the perfect dating site to meet a touch starved lesbian who lives 1,000 miles away and doesn't have a driver's license

If I had an onlyfans it would just be me telling you to open up random ports on your NGFW

Right?

All assholes are inspected for payloads upon arrival

I was gonna change a light bulb but i got distracted for about an hour 😏 it’s a very good stepladder

😈

Needs more riding crops, but otherwise pretty solid

Wait... is this why infosecroleplay keeps getting recommended to me?

Anyone else audibly thank their vibrator for not being a little bitch?

My #infosecbikini might be an outlier

ya'll I'm trying really hard to fix #PrintNightmare

Wait a minute, some of you perverts still have Print Spooler running on your Domain Controllers? Kinky

So where are my masochists?

I just had a maintenance window to update some BGP routes and you’ll never guess what happened

Wow. I really shoulda been charging more, I guess 👀

Really a nooner is everything anyone really wants. Oh and would be cool if there were no major IR requirements over the holidays

#lifeprotip Have your sub wear a camelbak during sex. Never worry about dry mouth again!

When your safe word is #FDAapproved

Yea but what's everyone else gonna get?