“thank god.” she whispered before jumping forwards and wrapping her arms tightly around jo, trying to seek comfort.

“I’m having bad cravings. I keep zoning out and all I can think about is getting high.” letting out a small cry she clung tighter onto jo.

“she’s busy. she’ll be busy with link or work or scout and scout needs her.” she let out a little sob as she squeezed tighter, burying her face into jo’s shoulder. “I don’t know why this is happening again— I’m.. I’m scared.”

“maybe.” she whispered as she sniffed a little, nodding her head. “please— please can you see if she can come? but don’t worry her.”

“it’s okay. thank you, jo.” she whispered as she used her sleeve to wipe her eyes, glancing to the couch as she nodded and moved across the room. “do you— can you hug me when you’ve tried my mom?”

“I know. she— she won’t get mad at you. I promise.” elle reassured quickly as she reached up to wipe her eyes again. the urges stronger than they’d be in a long time. “I just.. I need to make sure I don’t but it’s so hard.”

she nodded but fell silent to allow jo to finish texting her mother. biting on her fingernails, she almost dropped straight on the woman when she sat down but refrained in order to not freak her out. “can I cuddle you now? it’s okay if I can’t or you want me to not.”

within seconds, she was leaping into jo’s arms, squeezing her tightly in her embrace. she knew she couldn’t be alone right now. she knew it wasn’t safe. but jo was comforting in a way she couldn’t explain when her mom couldn’t be there. “I’m sorry for this.” she whispered.

“usually I wouldn’t. I’d have just turned to popping oxy.” she admitted openly as she closed her eyes, trying her hardest to relax and drag her mind away from thinking of the thing she craved more than ever.

she held onto jo with a death grip, closing her eyes tightly however relaxing just a little at the feeling on her hair. “can— can I nap here with you? just until my mom gets here or.. or if she says she can’t come?”

“thank you, jo.” she whispered as she released a shaky breath, her grip never loosening on the woman. “I can’t stop thinking of my dad.” she admitted quietly.

“I know. I just— I..” she frowned as she opened her eyes slowly again. “I know I’m not alone.. sometimes, I just like to get high to try and figure out what was so much better than spending a lifetime with mom and I.”

“alcohol has always been my poison.” she began softly, beginning to open up when she felt safe. “but sometimes the alcohol doesn’t do enough and getting high just.. it feels right.” she frowned as she tightened her hold on jo. “I’m sorry.”

“I just don’t want my mom to hate me. or start getting mad or— or to be disappointed in me.” she began again as she began tearing up almost immediately, a salted tear dripping down her cheek as she sat up to look at jo. “I hate being a disappointment. I hate it.”

as soon as the tears began to fall, it felt impossible to stop them. her sobs beginning to grow in volume although she tried desperately to keep them bay.. trying to keep herself calm. “I feel like a disappointment.” she choked out as she reached for jo again.

“I need— I have—” unable to finish her sentence and after having the permission to let it out felt like everything she needed to hear as her arms clung incredibly tightly around jo. she buried her face into her shoulder as she sobbed loudly acting to muffle the noise.