dinner’s market is oversaturated, many legacy power players. breakfast is dying. smart money is all-in on Lunch.

line at the Uggs store, they have a Bitmoji collection. the fed is gunna raise rates again.

the boomer urge to tell Alexa to play a song, then walk 8 rooms over.

oh Pop Tarts are trending now? that’s funny, every person I’ve ever loved has told me they are the devils work. I guess the tv is wrong again.

never trusted lollipops that are overly decorative. im not here for your Statement.

“Lather, Rinse” oh wait let me guess, “repeat?”

weekly “it’s so over” delivery arrived. i open it, what else is there to do? tape comes off, seal is removed. what is this? package peanuts are flown, the message is clear. We Are So Back

i WILL be first in line for the market price Dave’s Double and I WONT care that the system is specifically built to DETER me from being there on such a day. price theory, idk her im here for a burger.

Back at my parents’ house. Bro I forgot that sometimes the next scheduled TV program is an hour long commercial. Wild.

she hasn’t heard of the Rizzler. he doesn’t see the humor behind the Mindful Demure. enraptured by the same being, yet kept apart by its breadth. the chasm is wide enough to sever in two that which was Written to be One.

Riker’s Island is the Port Au Prince of the New York City Dept of Corrections

I have zero idea what it says when you leave a voicemail.

I don’t need another Coca-Cola ad. I’m already Coca-Cola’s Strongest Soldier.

“Coke Zero has some kind of weird non sugar sweetener bullshit in it.” they’ve got you right where they want you.

Pelosi knows retail is watching her trades so now she just buys random calls on shit and watches it pop post-disclosure. Total Nancy Victory #WhaleWatch

nice decor. now I’m washing my hands with Lotion.

why do they look like Naughty Dog characters