My bank account watching me book tickets for all of Mischief ‘a upcoming January mischief movie nights that don’t fall during work hours for me...

My biggest accomplishment so far this year is that I did not eat Chex mix when I went into the kitchen at 1:15 this morning 😂

She did Liza (and Moira) proud.

people saying lockdowns don’t do anything.. mf have u seen australia and new zealand 😭😭😭

I forgot that part of having students return is that they want us to have windows open at all times in the middle of an Alaskan winter. It’s going to be cold AF. Can I come to school in one of those walking sleeping bags? That’s acceptable right?

I got chocolate in my hair while dipping the eclairs I made for my parents 30th anniversary. I’m the hottest mess.

Journalists still asking if this was planned or it just "happened" somehow.

Excuse me how are people holding confederate and nazi flags being allowed to essentially hold democracy hostage? And they’re calling it protesting? Wtf is this shit?

So people made plans and flew/drove into DC from around the country during a PANDEMIC for this “protest” and people still want to say it “just happened”? I’m disgusted.

Pipe bombs, zip tie cuffs, and Molotov cocktails are not things you pack for a picnic at the Capitol.

Adventures in working in the same middle school I once attended as a student: I realized I’m working directly across from what was once my first boyfriend’s locker. Ah, the awkward tween memories 😂😂

I was doing a late vocal rehearsal for the two person musical I’m in and my sister sent me this should I be offended or honored?

What kind of ice cream do you think Joe Biden had tonight to celebrate becoming President?

“Do you ever think about how locksmiths can always get inside your house? If you think you’re safe, you’re wrong.” - a kid in this class. What kind of experiences has this child had with locksmiths? 😂

The real national treasure in the movie “National Treasure” is the lady behind the meat counter who lets a fellow lady hide from her supposed ex husband behind the counter. Women supporting women 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

There are types of people in this world: those who have sympathy for #SimoneBiles and a bunch of fucking assholes.

*watching British Bake Off which is really just a tent full of strangers in a country like two thousand plus miles away from me, which in no way actually affects my life* Also me: if they send Giuseppe home, I will literally have the mental breakdown I will never recover from

Since it aired when I was 15, I’ve periodically rewatched season 10 of project runway because I just think Dmitry Sholokhov is the greatest designer and I regret nothing 😂

Episode two of my season ten project runway rewatch, and I find fact that Dmitry Sholokhov wasn’t in the top three for the candy dress offensive 😂

Um, I just found out they canceled Drunk History with Derek Waters and I want to know who’s terrible idea this was so that I may fight them, thank you 😂