Pretty pleased with my 3am Wordle effort 298 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

It’s some solid marketing that when someone says ‘I’m going to London’ my brain still goes ‘to buy Heat magazine’

I have genuinely no idea what the Wordle word is about 30 seconds after I’ve done it

Does anyone else daydream about retiring because same

I think I’m about to get murdered by a pan

Why have my baby’s jeans got more functioning pockets than most women’s jeans please?

Has any parent ever made it through an entire park trip without having to carry a scooter?

Are all BMW drivers dicks or just all the ones I’ve ever come into contact with?

Not one mention of access to childcare, support from his partner, already having a home or money…

Everyone else who sleeps under the duvet whatever the weather to avoid demons, how are we surviving this heatwave?

An ode to the British weather We were too hot on Monday Absolutely roasting on Tuesday It was raining on Wednesday And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday We were freezing on Sunday

One of my most prized possessions

I think it’s CRAZY that you can have a baby, an actual human exit your body, and then you can just go home the same day

My little girl was a bit worried about getting her jabs so I was explaining how they will stop her getting ill and how amazing science is, she replied by shouting excitedly ‘I get to have SCIENCE IN MY LEGS??’

Our money and stamps are going to have a man on them, ew gross

I use twitter almost exclusively to check if TikTok or Instagram is down

PSA the yellow sticker game in supermarkets today is 10/10

The queue at Asda is nearly as long as The Queue

flatmate has just asked me whether i think the lettuce voted leaf or romaine in the brexit referendum and im frankly furious at how funny i found it

Ottie’s just turned 1 and will have seen at least 3 prime ministers and 2 monarchs by the time she’s 2, bonkers