im somewhat excited to take a shower tonight

ive been doing nothing for several hours. how can I do something instead?

are you guys ready for when my life gets better

the universe will take care of me as long as i show mercy and patience with all living things *loud Incorrect buzzer sound*

im kind of like if jane birkin were uglier and talentless and still alive

It’s so intense being me

people are trying to find me but im literally right here

It’s been 2 years and I still think about this tweet every time I eat a pear

ive been eating a lot of pears recently and i think its going well

my professor always cold calls me or says 'it looks like you have something you want to say' but I usually don't have anything to say. and he hasn't learned his lesson yet

ive seen at least twenty beautiful women today

yesterday the wind was so strong that it blew some shingles off the roof and they fell on me while I was walking and now I have scratches on my body

im one of the only people on twitter who deserves to be treated gently

I can't wait to walk home after work

I’m like if a timid person was uncharacteristically bold

rest in peace Nico. we love you. will dearly miss seeing this man’s face on here. a legend has passed

last night I used a credit card to shim a lock open and ive never felt more powerful

if I were barry lyndon I wouldn't cheat on my beautiful wife

right now im obsessed with forming #healthyhabits

Guys I'm sorry that I keep deactivating my twitter account but I needed to just focus on haircare for a while.