I am proud to announce that I've asked Tim Walz to be my running mate. As a governor, a coach, a teacher, and a veteran, he's delivered for working families like his. It's great to have him on the team. Now let’s get to work. Join us: secure.actblue.com/donate/social-…

Thanks, I hate this!

Whoever first came up with putting potato chips on a sandwich please come forward I’d like to give you a kiss on the mouth

Actually, yes I’ll be seeing Fred again.. at Ball Arena for 9/11 this year

a heist movie that takes place during a 17 minute standing ovation at cannes

All you basic make up bitches have been lyinggggg bc Urban Decay All Nighter doesn’t work for shit. Someone owes me $18.

i’d smoke Moo Deng for 12 hours like a brisket

I have had two separate people in the last month tell me I’m “hard to read”. Don’t think it’s meant as a compliment but going to take it as one.

For the millionth fucking time: Israel has NO right to defend itself because it is ILLEGALLY OCCUPYING PALESTINE and ILLEGALLY ATTACKING LEBANON. Stop debating this canard. Palestine and Lebanon DO have the right to defend themselves under international law. Always. Stop

3 weddings 3 weekends in a row. No one talk to me for a month I’m so tired.

44th in education 49th in healthcare 44th in quality of life 44th in adult obesity 42nd in poverty rate 50th in standardized test scores

Guys. It finally happened. I drunkenly wiped out on a Lime Scooter. 5 years of scootering was a good run. My elbow hurts.

Mike Tyson bite off Jake Paul’s ear pleaseeeeeeeeeee PLEASE

I laughed but this was also me

i am at my thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet

I want to see Eggers do Phantom of the Opera

Running a no sandals for men campaign Summer 2025

me knowing that time is arbitrary but people collectively choosing to believe in a fresh start is a beautiful reflection of the optimism of the human spirit

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