idealpiper (@idealpiper) 's Twitter Profile
idealpiper

@idealpiper

memes and such

ID: 3111613294

linkhttp://Instagram.com/idealpiper calendar_today24-03-2015 20:48:03

4,4K Tweet

4,4K Followers

526 Following

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Dating men in their 30s is like getting a used car, it runs fine but check engine light is on and they refuse to see a mechanic (therapist)

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If you’re my homeboy and Im dating someone and you put them on your close friends stories list, we’ll need to have a sit down buddy

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“Tall, funny, handsome, rich, humble, great in bed, attentive, caring, generous, ambitious. These are the qualities women look for in a man & honestly it ain’t even asking for a lot. Bare minimum if you ask me smh the dating scene is so tough for women.” - dudes tryin to get laid

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Psychiatrist: So we’re almost done, let’s see how are your hormones. Me: *blushes*..uhh.. i mean they’re average, not too loud not too quiet. Psychiatrist: …. Me: ..OH…you mean like… in my body not whor.. Psychiatrist: Yeah…. *scribbles aggressively on pad*

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At this point, if you asked me, whist holding a shotgun, to walk together to the back of the shed I’d be fkn thrilled.

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Dating apps will ask you to put: - your age - your height - your ethnicithy - your religious beliefs - your political views - your lifestyle - your desire (or not) to have kids - your diet, drug & alcohol intake - even your income But your weight is too personal? 😂😂