gangsta rap made me do it mom

Booty applaud

if u want me to be ur side bitch then u can be mine bitch

my destructive behavior can be rationalized by the fact that we are all dead in like 20 years anyway when the world implodes bc of fucking republicans

me receiving attention

good guy 1: good morning beautiful good guy 2: ur my sunshine good guy 3: i’d do anything for u asshole piece of shit: wyd me: OMW

I like the buuuuudtender oooh if u lookin for me i’m smoking buuuuud with herrrr uh huh okaaay

monica lewinsky all on my sundress

last night I had a dream where I took off a mask in the mirror to reveal another mask and then took that one off to see my face but hideously deformed. then ricky gervais gave me his credit card and said to fix it...

I guess i’m just crushingly depressed

lmao: laugh my ass off lmao: laugh my pussy off

lmpo: laugh my pussy off

[wedding] “Anyone know why these two should not be joined in marriage?” Me: (from the back) THEY’RE DOING A CASH BAR!! *priest drops bible*

IDK WHAT NUMBER TILL TUESDAY BUT GOD HATES LIL PHAG HIT THE BILLBOARD CHARTS HOLY FUCK LMAO WE HAVE A GAY BILLBOARD RAP ALBUM 🍾🌈

prince really burned these bitches when he said “act ur age not ur shoe size”

“You deleted my number?” First of all, I deleted the text thread that gave me clues to who you were. Your number was never saved.