Ron: I'll have number eight. Waiter: That's a party platter. Ron: I know what I am, son.

@michaelski50 boooooooo

@michaelski50 boooooo

Reason #457 for wearing short-shorts: Random females will slap you on the ass as you walk by. @gdreyfus94

Boise, Idaho

@garrettgilbz95 you probably would've been okay if he just saw your week flask.

@michaelski50 welcome to the 2010s.

@michaelski50 more like 2009... #NiceTryDoe

@michaelski50 I can't believe you hatin from the other side of the room....

@gdreyfus94 Chinese food was a bad choice...

@michaelski50 a reasonable follow-up from u to this tweet is, "I apologize for my last tweet. My roommate took my phone and tweeted that."

@michaelski50 what is the name of said song? I must learn it as well, as I am your superior.

@michaelski50 in ever-honored memory.

@michaelski50 I couldn't be more proud.

@michaelski50 already am.... #pepparoniANDsausagepizza

@michaelski50 ik... #Everyone regretted it.

@michaelski50 Aye.

@michaelski50 does this mean we're not living together or?....

@michaelski50 wb our pillow talk?... 😢

Crows are savages