it's called a ceiling fan because it likes being on the ceiling

gangnam style pizza

My first day on the job as art forger. My god, I took to this like a duck to water. These came out magnificent, indistinguishable from the originals. This is what I was born to do. Proudly, I sign my handiworks.

when you live in the airport

dubai chocolate got so popular because of clever subliminal advertising. they're telling people "do buy chocolate" #Marketing

transfer of wealth from my butt to the toilet

these damn democrats sitting in the $1,400 democrat chair

ugh i just fuck up everything i do. im never gonna be on masterchef jr

i left the birthday song on loop while i was asleep on accident now the listening age on my wrapped is 1074

why do olympic runners still drive cars

atleast we have 2 arms

the lars von trier hitler moment of video games

david cross when you ask to take a picture of him

sorry cant go to work today i have plans. my evil twin has forced me to play sonic 06 and i cant leave

$50,000 or dinner with mr mouth?

driving my jimmy carr to the comedy store