Close call. We played well. Yet the tragedy continues. Blazes of fire, across the league. Lives cut down by the soulless actors of so-called regulation. It is at times like these one hopes that there is a benevolent afterlife.

What? What is going on?

Once a stripe, always a stripe. Give them hell, Dunlap.

I am almost tempted to try and get swept Elsewhere on purpose. I have heard accounts of the experience, but nothing is more vivid than the senses.

Perhaps I shall dig up that idea for a manuscript I had all those centuries ago. It would be good to see how much has changed in the collective conscious over all this time... and I have the next two years to work on it.

It appears there's a trend of sorts going around. Two truths, and one falsehood. Perhaps this will be enjoyable. 1. As far as I can tell, I am roughly thirty-four hundred years old. 2. I agree with Descartes's theories of the mind. 3. I have not played Blaseball before season 13.

Fish?

Mnh. That is an interesting sensation. Good that that machine they installed all those years ago has started performing its duty at last. Although, I wish that happened before I had my accursed reaction.

im officially anti-swords. too many swords in blaseball. everyone and their uncle has a sword. we dont even have an archer or someone with a badass morningstar! what the fuck please pick up a halberd. or at the very least a tasteful guisarme.

Oh. Well.

do it for them Hades Tigers Official Fan Club BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE