Burn me with fire and use my ashes as war paint in the next Gina Carano 🕯 movie.

I would give anything to stay up until 3am to watch the Leafs get shutout by the 28th place LA Kings. can’t believe I ever took that for granted.

I mean ya the dude's 5'3" 141 pounds this is probably the right call. Rips total wizz rockets from the high slot though. Like absolutely bar Florida just for giggles. He's gonna be fine. #GoHabsGo

Pk suban and Lindsey von are getting me way too horny to be trapped in my house right now it looks like people were jumping up and down on bottles of elmers glue in here

Alright folks, it’s been a fucking while since we’ve seen some puck and the pipes are all backed up. But, this makes me splooge toasters strudel sauce all over my tummy bowl. Jesus H Christ. Man has an absolute missile. #Shouldabeen50in20 #MrLipLettuce

Feeling the flow!

This man Alexander Wennberg just made two other grown men quit their real life jobs and move to a shack in Guam.. Not by choice. #scrambledeggs Columbus Blue Jackets #CBJvsTBL #NHLPlayoffs

This is massive, veiny, throbbing big dick energy for the boys. LFG kid!

45 minutes until we fill our tummy bowls! #NHLFreeAgency

#Sabres fans tmrw morning: #NHLFreeAgency #TaylorHall

Just filled my tummy bowl with a cup of body temp milk if you catch my drift. #hockeysback #NHL

Tampa’s got the league in full change-their-dia-dia position ready to dump nut. Fucking gymnastic cap fuck bot shit. Fuck!

Yeah, and the Yotes got Larsson, Hunt and Caggiula why’s your fucking point pencil dick?

PROST you son of a bear!

Hey Doug Ford suck our fucking nuts!

Chris Drury right now. #NYR New York Rangers

Well it was dick and balls check time in Toronto, time to check what’s under the hood annnnnnnnnnd what’s that? They have a man-gina? The Leafs have a man-gina!

Just a nasty bingo ruined by whatever the fuck that noise was. #NHLpreseason #hockeysback