I guess my office secret Santa gift should be penguin socks.

BREAKING: A source tells me The Defense Department has just denied a request by DC officials to deploy the National Guard to the US Capitol.

This is an attempted coup.

Media: Stop referring to them as “protesters.”

Global news outlets are calling pro-Trump protesters storming the US Capitol a 'coup de force' businessinsider.com/global-news-ou…

reading this was quite way to realize we’re not even a full two weeks into the year 🥴

This thread 💯

all these Tiktok videos talking about, and brands actively marketing, mom jeans, and this is still all I can think about youtube.com/watch?v=2aVxNH…

I signed up for TikTok just to watch TikToks, not to purchase 100 different things I never knew I needed, but here we are. 3 Amazon rompers, 2 retinoid creams, a bunch of serums, and the first pair of Abercrombie jeans I've looked at in 15 years sitting in my shopping cart

BREAKING: Derek Chauvin found guilty of all 3 counts.

Solidarity with the Simon & Schuster social media team, who had nothing to do with this decision and are in for an absolutely horrible few days on top of an already terrible month.

I sent the “this is fine” meme to a colleague today *before* the media told me about KellyAnne Conway so, tomorrow should be fun 😒

I have never missed getting a drink after work with coworkers more than I do today. I need to stare at a stiff cocktail at a high top table in a busy midtown pub with people who get it (and massive amounts of greasy spinach and artichoke dip)

*passengers not wearing masks* Delta in Philly: masks need to cover mouth AND nose. Don’t make us turn this plane around bc we will damn it Delta in the South: *crickets* Your health is our priority! *fills middle seats* this is a full flight, u need to check ur bag ma’am

Sooo...how does one tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and a not vaccinated person?

Yang and Times Square, Timothee Chalamet in a musical prequel to Willy Wonka, and now this? It’s only Monday and ya’ll this week is just too much already

This has been fun tho

Remote jobs are getting four times the number of applicants as jobs that don’t allow people to work from home. vox.com/recode/2254340…

Yoooo I just felt my first #earthquake…people get used to this?! Woke up to the bed and walls legit shaking like jelly for what felt like a long 10 seconds and these ol’ Victorian walls CREAKED 😳…Ok ready to fly home to ny for the holidays now 😂 #sanfrancisco