*Ahem*

Roll me to the table - I'm ready for my dinner, Mr DeMille 🍗

Heard on the grapevine that I’ve been mentioned by Mr Stewart Lee on a ponklecast. Can confirm I have no plans to ever deflate #RoundBoi4Life Do come by and say hi Kath 💙🙀🇪🇺✊🏾 Somethin' Else bit.ly/3Zis4kS

Attention! I have written a song: I said-a flip, flop, the flippie, the flippie to the flip flip flop-a you don't stop the rock it to the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie, to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Athankyew.

The rumours are true, I'm going to be a star ⭐

Forget the Easter lambs, chicks and rabbits - what about the Easter Walrus?! There is a reason I look like a chocolate egg. I AM the egg.

I do have a mighty and wondrous ass 🍑

Officially the best unit of measurement... 🪨

Maybe she's born with it... or maybe it's extra stuffing 💅

Best advice is to just work with a walrus all year round.

*Hefts wonderous décolletage*

If you are missing my gorgeousimmo tusked and whiskered face, do come and join me where I have been posting images of mine own visage for the world to see! instagram.com/hornimanwalrus/

Darlings! It's been a hot minute and I simply must tell you of my latest development. I have joined grinstagram! You have to post a photo of yourself grinning once a day or they ban you. I have failed miserably at this but am trying my billy best. instagram.com/hornimanwalrus/

Have you heard of these strange things called 'MEEMS'? Apparently MEEMS are all the rage so I've been ordering my people to get to it and make me star in all the MEEMS. instagram.com/hornimanwalrus/