This just in my 1906 newspaper! Oh dear, it's almost like transgender people had indeed existed before the 2000s! (Source: yesterdaysprint.tumblr.com)

For my debut, I wear what mother wore for hers. It’s outdated by two decades at this point, but everyone stands in absolute awe when I enter the room.

There will totally be a prequel series about what a beautiful, feisty heroine my mother used to be.

Just as I pucker my lips to receive his kiss, Lord Drake lets go of my hands, walks over to the window and says: “Back then, in the war...”

Lord Drake smiles at my clever remark, but his smile fades as he looks out the window. Quietly, he says: “I still remember the heat of the Battle of Yorktown.”

Lord Drake stares adoringly at me in my new ballgown, then lets his gaze glide to the window. His melancholy voice echoes through the room: “As a young child, I had to beg in the streets for my supper.”

Lord Drake’s eyes shift adoringly over the lines of the poem I just wrote, before they drift to the window, as he mutters, his voice hollow: “My father used to beat me with a red-hot kettle.”

Lovingly, Lord Drake tucks the strand that fell out of my hair do behind my ear, but then he looks out the window, his features hardening as he admits: “In the navy, death was everywhere.”

I utter my thanks as Lord Drake hands me a gallant bouquet of roses, but his gaze unexpectedly shifts to the window as he whispers: “I was bullied in school.”

I let my chemise fall to the ground and sit seductively down on the canopy bed. Lord Drake embraces my naked form, but then stares out the window, saying under his breath: “I stubbed my toe real bad today.”

“You’re so cute”, Lord John Drake says. “I’m NOT!”, I mumble in a high-pitched voice, cross my arms, stomp my foot and make a duckface, pouting.

I’m sure they listened and danced to rap at balls in the USA during the 1780s! Have you degenerates never seen Hamilton?

I was tagged by @ClicheYAHero, so here are five TV shows Historical Heroine would enjoy: 1. Reign 2. Outlander 3. The Borgias 4. When Calls the Heart 5. The Barbie movies I’m tagging Lord John Drake, Snarky Peasant Maid, @TheGreenDragoon, Marie Antoinette, and @TheRegentKing.

My first husband died in the war. You know, the war. That one.

I’m the prettiest creature to ever walk God’s Earth, a pure lily made of light and the scent of spring, but with a mind so bright that I could have been Athena. Or so other people say about me. Never onscreen, but still. I’d never be so vain as to describe myself like that.