Its so funny when ur talking to a guy and mid conversation you watch him realize that u are way cooler than him lol

My doctor says I need missionary with eye contact to survive

We need a new and exciting hard candy

25+ million dollars. A former president. Some of the richest people in the US. The entire liberal and conservative political establishment. And Zohran Mamdani — and all the people behind him — beat it all.

Just turned Fortnite off to read Dostoevsky

They can’t handle my celibate swag

The wokeness we will bring within the coming years will make this look like the Reagan era

I’m living a beautiful life

My Covid era social media crash out does NOT define me.

It’s so hard trying to befriend someone who obviously just fucking hates themselves. Why am I catching so many strays?? What the hell did I do!!!

The house passed the “big beautiful bill” so I blocked Subway takes

Please do it

If he’s your man then why is he rifling through my medicine cabinet