i love little dudes with highly expressive arms

man releases #1 song of the year on january 1st at 12:01am

I’m not in denial, I’m in

Imagine being the caveman going up to his boys and being like “yo this shit fire”

put my baby in zero g

breaking up with someone by saying: “it has recently come to my attention that i’m too good for you”

cop: *pulls me over* pronouns and registration please

daniel day lewis: ah well if it isn’t my arch nemesis nigel night wilson

if you see a pill on the ground i’ll try it for you

too slutty to be a souvlaki, must be a marlin

what an incredible fuckup hbo max fka is

told my girl to cool it on the horseshit don’t wanna hear it

what’s the point of being huge if you can’t live with your mother

nothin quite like tossing around the old foreskin

women love acting out

the nazis kinda set themselves up for an eternity of being the default bad guys with those outfits