Some films are worse than others...

Our film about Deutsche Bank's most famous customer

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Accurate.

Reykjavík, Iceland 🇮🇸 has the most insane skyline right now. 🎥 Via iurie Belegurschi

If a mob of Muslims attacked the Capitol, we would have already bombed an Arab country that had nothing to do with it.

Thread.

It's official: Rep. Val Demings is running for U.S. Senate in Florida.

Oh no. I just told my 8yo a George Carlin joke ("Screw getting on the plane, I'm getting IN the plane") and now he's asking me for MORE Carlin jokes and, like, is not accepting that there simply *arent* any more that are age appropriate. :(

No immigrant has taken your job. You were laid off by a capitalist who required cheap labor and took advantage of that immigrant to increase his profits, and nothing makes him happier than to hear you blame the immigrant and not him.

Yo, Jennifer ✈️ DFW

Yo, Jennifer ✈️ Today is your lucky day!

I'll root for any team that gives Colin Kaepernick a shot this season—even if it's the New England Patriots. (Jeez, I can't believe that I just said that.)

Should I step down as head of Twitter? I will abide by the results of this poll.

We ran into #jeffgoldblum at #trafalgarsquare this evening. Happy Christmas from #london!