"Duck sucking, one of my favorite pastimes."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm not a... A... Whatever the fuck it was. I'm a walking tumor, so get it right." x.com/countdmitri/st…

"I'm not, though I always heard that Jews were stingy with money, but I thought that a musician would get being -x.com/countdmitri/st…

-poor." "Especially a pianist! I mean, who even listens to classical music anymore?" x.com/countdmitri/st…

"Was it racist to say that? It felt pretty racist to say that."

"I don't think this guy gets that I made a movie reference..."

"All right, simmer down, Skinny Stalin. You're not the only one with military service, and the /actual/ difference -x.com/countdmitri/st…

-between you and me—besides my natural well endowment—is that my time off killing people for some politician -x.com/countdmitri/st…

-asshole taught me that I'm not better than anyone else. I'm a scumbag just like any other two-but killer, doesn't -x.com/countdmitri/st…

-matter what label you slap on yourself. That's obviously something that hasn't been able to get through your -x.com/countdmitri/st…

-mustache." "...Wow, I got /really/ preachy..." x.com/countdmitri/st…

"Welcome to Vancouver, motherfuckers."

"Mm, gonna play some Zelda." "Mm, gonna save the Princess." "Mm, gonna get me that elf poon." "Mm, maybe evil pig guy can join in."

"FUUUUUCK!!!" "Way too much wasabi! SHIT!" #StovaWedding

"Aaah, I thought it was pistachio ice cream!" "Damn you, Yatoshi! Damn you!" #StovaWedding

"I HATE THESE BLURRED LIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!"

Proceeds to shake his ass for the TL. You're welcome, assholes.

She's missing out on something beautiful. x.com/entrancingminx…

"I just melt 'em down in the microwave and put it on ice cream." x.com/dathuii/status…

"Aaaaaah, that was a good jerk session..." "Now, back to Scrabble..."