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Roses are red Our love is homogenous I’d regress on my affection But unfortunately it’s endogenous. ValentinesFromAnEconomist

Instagram: knows exactly what I’m thinking at all times and targets advertisements with seeming clairvoyance Twitter: thinks I care about lady climbing the Statue of Liberty

People I follow on Instagram who are into MLMs: this is how I feel trying to tap through stories while avoiding clicking on your “yes” or “yes PLEASE” polls

Slutty Pope costumes coming to Party City next year x.com/coffeecocktail…

There needs to be another type of punctuation between a period and an exclamation mark. The difference between 'Okay.' and 'Okay!' is too big.

gucci gang indeed x.com/davidroads/sta…

Following up on previous tweet about punctuation: I've invented the 'double period' and it's already on your phones:

me setting myself up for failure during finals week

I heard that making your twitter name all lowercase is the cool thing to do. Here I am:

do y'all have those people where you read everything they type in their voice?

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mega nerd marginally hipster x.com/jonquilfreedma…

I might have said no such thing x.com/holdencarrell/…

everyone hates math until it helps them calculate their lowest possible grade on a final

People with late last names alphabetically are systematically disadvantaged.