Mr. Chau Imagine how the guy from Cake felt the first time he heard a vibra-slap, like 'oh hell yea, I could describe cars over that'

If I come home and my gf is reading this I’m gonna go lay down on some train tracks

Hello, I hope my email finds you well. Might I request that you spend the next half hour of your one and only precious life reading the PDF that I have attached below

10pm time to relax and take a break from my small screen to look at my big screen

Every dispensary conversation is like “hey I’m just looking for a little something to help me relax” and the weed sommelier is like you’re gonna love Galactic Chainsaw it stops the ghosts in my mind from convincing me to crash my car on the highway

Am I stupid or should ironing boards be shaped more like shirts????

i’m malala’s cousin

The hardest part of being an actor is then they ask for a full body shot and your apartment isn’t big enough to back up the camera that much

Me after I hit a big basket to give us the lead and now it’s time to clamp down on defense

Every person you have to interview with for an entry level job

Guy probably would have just been good with “George Hackett”

First time I’ve stared at the sun with glasses on!

I can feel the surface tension from here

I love The Fast & The Furious. They’re fast because of the cars and they’re furious because they’re all bald.

Check out their OnlyFarms

If I saw this honker in the wild I would assume it was a deity and worship it

Something I’ve learned from movies is that you should never ever incite the wrath of the High Council

Got a lot of important work to do today that will advance my career and enrich my relationships, but first I gotta read this list of the best available NFL free agents