if u have put a lot of effort into making ur ponytail nice & sleek I will absolutely notice and mutter to myself under my mask 'wow what a nice ponytail' i saw at least 4 grade A ponytails on my commute today and secretly admired them all it is my ninja way

SPOTIFY HAS TAKEN MY JAZZ MIX AT A TIME I NEED IT MOST

just seen a role as a carer that advertised as a benefit "access to the vaccine" wow you mean that notoriously expensive & difficult to get hold of vaccine?? That is literally compulsory for the role?? Privatised care company how u indulge us so

not suggesting ppl should go back to the office but today in a meeting someone's husband came in halfway through and started frantically unloading what must have been about 5 tonnes of fruit into the fruit bowl on her desk

British panel shows

been in telecare training all week & everyone has so much in depth obscure technical knowledge but will only ever refer to tick boxes as a "little house"

I feel this every day

There should be a Pokémon that evolves from a cigarette to a cigarillo then to a cigar

Thread: 1/. As the death toll rises to 41 today, four women you should know who were deliberately and unlawfully killed in Iran when protesting gender apartheid and the killing of #Masha_Amini: Hadis Najafi, aged 20, shot six times when security forces opened fire on her.

Living plant controls a machete through an industrial robot arm

it will never NOT slap

Can't wait 😭❤️

Anyone who says humans won’t work if there’s no monetary incentive has never seen this

A driver waits while watching a woodcock finish crossing the road. 😂

my humor fucking sucks this is the funniest thing i have ever seen