When an option is called FAST_FORWARD, then surely it is fast. Right? Right? Check for yourself in my next #SQLServer Plansplaining blog, where I look at FAST_FORWARD cursors and find that they're not fast, not documented and, worst of all, not reliable! sqlserverfast.com/blog/hugo/2024…

With Web + Work + Pages, you can now ideate with AI and collaborate with other people. It’s just magical. You can learn more here: aka.ms/M365CopilotWav…

<gushingly effusive tone> Goodness me! It seems just too good to be true! What's the catch?

"it takes 20 hours to populate this dashboard" "ah, so you attended one of those ~dashboard in a day~ sessions"

Darling Data Too fucking real

Drew Furgiuele Why are dashboard people like this Drew.

SSMS friends 👀

an interesting retrospective

Darling Data Overall, the cloud is trash. Customers are burning much more cash than what they wud have spent on prem. CIOs & CTOs are the least tech people. They close deals with big IT vendors at beer parties. After a few months, they quit, and join another company, and then do the same.

My YouTube channel is just 100 subscribers away from the 5000 mark. If you’re into SQL Server performance tuning, check it out. youtube.com/@erikdarlingda…

It's a wrap let's all migrate back to synapse fabric is the new zune... pure gold in the fabric reddit

Barely past 9 and I've already seen the best quote of the day. #SQLSaturdayOregon

I have a sinking feeling that we're going to find out that quote was originally generated by AI.

What they say: SELECT DISTINCT What they mean: "Ah geez! I have duplicates. I have no idea why, and no idea whether it's important. This oughta cover it up." #SQL #TSQL #SQLServer

What they say: UNION What they mean: UNION ALL What they really mean: "I can save myself three characters here. Much quicker to just type UNION. What harm could it do?"

Ah, the annual fee for that domain you bought with grand plans but haven't touched since? That's not a charge, my tech bros, that's a procrastination tax. Gotta pay for the premium parking spot your brilliant idea is hogging in the internet garage.

Today in SQL Server things that have been hilariously broken for 16 years: If you 'force' a plan (using any method, including Plan Guides, Query Store, and Automatic Plan Correction) the resulting plan will have its query_hash overwitten by the query_plan_hash. In other words,

Fleshed out my recent post about 'forced' plans on my blog. Added some discussion and description of the term "morally equivalent plan" as a bonus. sql.kiwi/2024/11/forced…

Reza Rad #PowerBI #MicrosoftFabric #AI Guy In A Cube That was fun. Thanks Reza Rad #PowerBI #MicrosoftFabric #AI !!!