Found boots at top of oak tree. Also, someone wrote "codpiece" on my forehead while I slept. Will not be returning to this inn. #toomuchmead

Am I wrong, or was Oona Chaplin's grandfather basically an under-cranked version of Patchface?

Have decided to make for Braavos. I'm hungry for a change of scenery and am partial to things with two As in the middle of their name.

Which is why I've always resented my mother for naming me Robert Storm instead of Roaabert Storaam :(

Although she probably had bigger fish to fry, what with being a 15 y/o whore and all. No! No excuses! You wronged me mother!

Great. Now I'm just a hedge knight sobbing on the Kingsroad. Gods, how I wish Westeros had therapists.

Valar Morghulis was YOLO before it was cool.

Say what you will about Harren the Black, the man knew the value of a room full of hot tubs.

If I could bring people back to life with fire-god breath, I would tell everyone that I was just extremely good at CPR.

And I'd be a dick about it too, "Oh, you CAN'T CPR this Cut In Half Knight back to life? Well maybe you should practice more."

What could Ygritte know, really? She's a kid! Tell me I know nothing after you've simultaneously handled student loans and a car payment.

I'm betting on the little known, R+L=P(odrick) theory.

I once mistook a windmill for a maiden fair. The end result was as embarrassing as it was disgusting. #toomuchmead

Bran's storyline is so dull that I've started hoping he encounters a forest full of 80ft high windows.

Q: How many wargs does it take to light a candle? A: 3. 1 to hold it, 1 to light it, and 1 to say: Wow! That eagle and bear lit a candle!

George RR Martin is the Michael Jordan of What The Fuck.

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Donald Trump is real life Janos Slynt.

Just described Bloodraven as "Tree Obi Wan Kenobi". Feel like I've peaked.