Welcome to all my new followers A little about me: - I'm Michael, a hedge fund manager - Divorced x2 - Based in Cayman Islands (so I don't pay taxes) - Macro expert (never wrong) - Dealing with my moron investors - Been investing 50+ years - I'm grossly overweight - Live in

107-year old grandfather reveals the secret to his long life: "I never once traded options"

Sick of dealing with these clients

This news could be huge for the oil market... Unfortunately my source is an idiot

I hate my job

Confession: I am a run-of-the-mill money manager But I just call my firm a "hedge fund" because it sounds cool and makes unsophisticated investors desperate to put their money with me Also allows me to invest the money however I want without paying attention to any of the

Just spent all morning analyzing the stock market Here's what I concluded after 6+ hours of intense research: Looks like it's going down today

Financial advisors charging 1% to put their client's money into an index fund that they could buy themselves for free

Holy shit Just heard from a friend at a hedge fund He manages billions and knows tons of billionaires Told me something INSANE: "Stocks will probably go down a bit more but also they might go up first. Pls keep this confidential." This is crazy. Don't say you weren't

I hate my clients

My clients are idiots

I'm a wealthy hedge fund manager I manage billions of dollars You don't need a fancy degree to have my job You don't even need to understand interest rates or discounted cash flows All you need is confidence and the ability to pay for a few appearances on CNBC I have a

Client management 101

Just chatted with my friend who works at Bitcoin Inc He said tons of insiders are selling now and the company is in a panic Look at below

"Mom, how did we get so rich?" "Your dad managed billions of dollars in a hedge fund and collected management fees" "But did the investors outperform the index?" "Who the fuck cares?"

Just got off the phone with a client He told me the market slide is really stressing him out "How will we pay for my daughter's college? She's a smart kid who deserves a good education!" I asked why his daughter isn't getting a full ride scholarship if she's so smart. He

This is what my client gets for texting me on Sunday morning

BREAKING: Stock futures have CRASHED by 0.50% in just 3 hours of futures trading At this rate, in 15 hours the market will be down 3% And by tomorrow night, we'll be down 12% if this trend continues Buckle up!