A lot of people are just cops to the depths of their soul, is the thing. Just God’s own policemen, regardless of the context

Well I just tried to board this train, only to get kicked off as it’s allegedly been “damaged by animals.” Can I just stress this happened before I was seen boarding it. Before.

I worked with David Halliwell towards the end of his life and can confirm, despite living ‘in exile’ in Oxfordshire, he remained a gloriously dour, stupendously curmudgeonly citizen of the Republic of Yorkshire to the end…

1/ Someone took my wife’s leather jacket and an envelope full of old photos out of a carrier bag I left in the bar MothClub - the jacket is replaceable, the photos aren’t and they can’t mean anything to the person that took them so I’d like them back.

Now would be a really good time for Netanyahu to have a heart attack and let someone else get this across the line. Not that Likud is exactly teeming with candidates.

This new Dua Lipa album sounds like Christmas at the Arndale Centre

Fun tho

All we need now, before going to bed happy, is for someone to leak the truth about Susan Hall and Count Binface.

when you still identify as a guerrilla warlord of the rave on a saturday night but big tech knows too much

London definitely closer than expected - I opened my door and it was right there

I see so few men in politics chat land ever mention Sadiq Khan’s policy of free school meals for all primary kids. It’s absolutely huge as far as I’m concerned. Is it disregarded as domestic / feminine?

Aaahhh that Friday feeling when your hometown York and North Yorkshire vote a Labour mayor into the PM’s constituency. Quick, everyone round to Rishi’s pool for some levelling up.

Man on his fourth wife, six kids in more than one country, lectures on sexual morality, reveals fixation with the word normal, is probably hiding something else under that hat.

Last night my dog got busted taking a cat poo out of the litter tray and relocating it to the living room carpet and let me just say a LOT of things are now making sense. Got to commend the lad on his long game here.

Thinking about when I told my parents I was going sober but my dad found my staropramen stash on google street view

Such a shame that jonn elledge’s mum totally ruined his book launch [by knowing more about the challenges facing the Bolivian Navy than any of his guests].

Just went into my daughter's room because I thought I heard crying. Turns out she was facetiming a friend and doing a dance for her. It was the friend who was crying, because my daughter's dance was so bad.

I wrote the cover feature in the House & Home section of this weekend’s Financial Times and it seems to be making people laugh, although my (property) porn addiction is no joke. Treat yourself to a pink paper x