Hi, I'm a doctor who happens to be female. You may know me from my greatest hits including, "Yes, I'm actually your doctor," "Yes you did see a doctor, it was me" and "Yes, you may speak to the doctor in charge - you are speaking to her now."

Valentine’s Day in Britain: “I quite like you, in a way” “Don’t be daft”

We just caught Colleen making a serious financial decision for the store based on a magic 8 ball so that's not good.

A British person, staring out of a rain-soaked window, observing the rain and all the rain-soaked things it falls on, is unable to resist making, even to people freshly wet from being in the rain, this shrewd observation: “Still raining”

A British person, unable to stand upright due to the gust, leaves and twigs smashing into their head, with eyebrows blown clean from their face and sore eyes watering with tears quickly whipped away by the gale, is unable to resist uttering: “Bit windy”

We're starting to get the impression that people are coming in here today specifically to vomit.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people

Fuck it. We're getting a cactus.

me: no shoes in the house murderer: sorry

The crows are back.

So excited to read this! Carol Wyer

The Joker should have been a woman. And she finally went insane because too many random dudes told her to smile, so now she perpetually smiles while terrorizing Gotham.

Her catchphrase would be "Well, ACTUALLY ..." and then she'd just trail off and laugh maniacally.

interviewer: you have a 3 year gap on your resume that just says “vengeance” me: interviewer: me: you don’t remember me do you?

Do American McDonald’s have bouncers aswell or are we just animals

This is definitely next on my reading list!!: amazon.co.uk/Origins-You-Ch… Elissa Epel

The book that Dr Dean Fido and I have written on bridging psychological and legal perspectives on #ImageBasedSexualAbuse was officially published today! link.springer.com/book/10.1007/9…

My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car."

"millennials killed department stores" baby boomers killed the polar bears but right right right my deepest apologies to jc penny