I hope he’s doing well

Whenever it’s raining and I’m driving I have the irrational need to check the speed of other drivers’ windshield wipers to make sure I’m not being dramatic

Pulling into port for our cruise and my husband says “someone explain buoyancy to me like I’m 5”

We’ve had 2 really great marital squabbles so far. #1: Noah incorrectly keeping score during ping pong. #2: the frequency and annoyance with which he has been singing the little kid’s corn song over the last 6 hours.

Noah just looked me dead in the eyes at dinner and says “I think I’m a ‘Swifty’”

Y’all ever been to a mall and can only afford the food court??

Tears behind the camera on the pick 6

Stressed as he should be. (Our angel will still have a roof over her head regardless, Mom’s got her $$)

Noah doesn’t like how women celebrate goals in soccer. His stance: “if I just scored a goal in the national championship game, my pants are off and I’m in the crowd”

Ever been running late somewhere and then your husband decides to BACK INTO THE SPOT???

Haha Noah said next Bengals game, I get to keep his phone and he does no texting and no tweeting. Sorry Mitchell Alton and Kory

Get in

Noah’s been home for 15 minutes. Confirmed: already spilled on my counters and floors (2 separate encounters) that I just cleaned last night. Unconfirmed: missed the toilet. Cincy want him back??

Paint the picture: 50 y.o with disheveled gray hair, polo, cuffed khakis, new balances (obvi), standing in line at Dunkin with a bottle of Miralax in hand. Receives a large iced coffee and dumps his dose in and exits. End scene.

Hand me down from ASPN, wearing in support of my other half today. Let’s ride.

Ok so I don’t know where I’ve been but like grown up Ashton Kutcher???? Like the dad thing ….it’s working sir 👏🏻

Noah is going to Ruth’s Chris tonight with “work” without me??????

I’d like to know why people hover around the desk 15 minutes before boarding a flight just to hurry up and get on and sit in a small seat close to strangers for even longer???

I wish Noah could remember things I told him 12 hours ago like he can remember the words from “My Band” by D12 from 2004.

Pour one out for John Vega