I just need Logan for once, to join in on my bs and stop being so realistic

I think I’ve had funnel cake fries from beacon ten times already this month

I swear this fly knows I’m trying to take a nap and just keeps buzzing by my head

what are random things growing up that made you think other households were “rich”? Mine was when people had an ice maker in their fridge and didn’t need to use trays 😭

Nothing more humbling than someone telling you your shirt has been inside out all day

The most gut wrenching feeling in the world is waking up to a call from your friend and knowing it’s the worst new possible because they can’t even speak. You just cry with them.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

if i ever got married i would use the reception as an opportunity to just play every song i’ve ever liked. no theme, no vibe. just me being like “omg i love this one” for two hours

There’s nothing more sad than being the only friend that doesn’t have kids.

Why order at the speaker at sonic when you can use that app and wait 20 minutes longer than normal!!!!!!!!!

2023 is giving me a headache

It is literally so hard to get up in the morning

I can’t explain how exhausted I am

I want to be a civilized human that actually uses her wallet instead of just throwing her cards and cash into her purse to get lost every time

when ur card declines at therapy so they bring out the 19 year old version of u

this is the kind of tired that sleep can’t fix

Do you ever have so much to do that you just want to crawl in bed and ignore it all.

Me to Logan: What shocked you the most about me Logan: Your potty mouth

Why does the gentle cycle on the washer always sound so damn aggressive like stop banging around in there