I feel like online dating needs to progress to the next level. Online dating for pets.

I’m about to open up a dog grooming boutique called DoggieStyle. Every bitch is gonna wanna come get their fur did at my place.

Omg I’m in love with @HowardUMF when I grow up I want to create a show as brilliant as one of his... even if that show is only performed while drunk, in my living room. Looks like I’d better start drinking. ❤️

I have fallen in love with NYC. In less than 3 years time I will be moving here! Part of me wants to move back to Oregon but I need to take roads I haven’t traveled & seek adventure... this is the path for my adventure.

Great start to the day!! I ❤️ Harry Nilsson.

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and me!!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t dm you the money) Will show proof!

Can we put all rent payments, credit card payment & other such things on hold until we get through this ordeal. Financial forgiveness and banding together till we get back to normal would be good! This is getting crazy.

Definitely could use the random act of kindness🤞🏻🤞🏻.

My thoughts on the death of Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh is now in a better place... the ground. Now that he's dead his heart has finally warmed up and his brain activity has begun to increase. He truly was an enigma amongst humanity.

Looks like I'm going to SDSU.

No

Headlines read, these are the worst of times. I know this isn’t true. I see so many folks who spend their day trying to make a way to heal democracy, and I know, if we learn how to unite, yes I know, we can surely win the fight! Because, the best of times are lying ahead of you!

Not sure why Elon Musk is so obsessed with Mars. We all know Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids, in fact it’s cold as hell… and there’s no one there to raise them, if you did.

Listen. Like. Subscribe. youtu.be/pqmZHuqbVFc?si…

I guess I'm supposed to say something on here... I'm terrible at this twitter thing. Probably cuz I'm not good at being concise. 😁

Paid a visit to my favorite musician of all time today. He & my dad were a lot alike & maybe that's why I absolutely love #HarryNilsson

I'll be performing music & comedy in 2 weeks on the 27that the SpaceBar in LaMesa. Come see me & check out the great comedy lineup.

Good... this dude is a freaking tool. He needs to reflect. Young kids look up to this moron. Maybe he will pull his head out of his ass!! x.com/i/moments/9489…

The Mega Millions drawing is going to make someone an instant Republican.

NBA: Ban Fergie From singing the National Anthem - Sign the Petition! chn.ge/2EG3oJm via Change.org Jimmy Kimmel